Yesterday was my crankiest day. I know it was my period, but I’m totally messed up. Every people I met, well the people I didn’t met either, was made me mad. I yelled aloud, but I didn’t cursing, and suddenly cried, hah, I am pretty sure you don’t wanna meet me yesterday.

But, simply retail therapy healed me. I missed my first class, because the lazy Costumer Service, and I had two sessions for my second class. But after all, in the madness, I was go to the mall, and bought something. I did manicure and pedicure, masked my body, ohohohoo.. well I get better now. Yeah, you people, you don’t have any reason to get me stumbled. Peeep, I cured!

And, yesterday despite all the madness things, this term comes to me, just for no reason. Idealistic. Give me an A for this people, but why they talked to me as if I never been there. The contemplation, man, I can’t tell you anything except, I’m done. Yeah… my friends give me a lesson about the idealistic, my lecture ask me about ideology, hell, where have you been people. You don’t even there. Judging me about my idealistic? my ideology? Oh, fine maybe I’m forget to give them a paper, my theory, my blueprint of this life I’ve been through these years. But now, I’m tired. Just, give the best for your life and sit down there, look what you’ve done.

” Kamu, apa ideologi kamu?” <my lecture>

” Hmm, Pancasila Bang.” <me>

<entire class laughing, including me>

” Pancasila yang mana, yang Soekarno, yang sekarang, yang mana?” <ml>

” Saya yakin kalian di sini tidak ada yang punya ideologi.” <ml>

<me,stop laughing,trolling this awkward moment>

” Kita sih oportunis, kapitalis.” <me>

I don’t know, but anyway, you hate corrupt people, you cursing about the capitalism, neo-liberalism, or whatever, but you don’t want a socialism or communism either, where it takes equal for everything. So, what do you want, what I want? But, I know what I want. Balance. And you’ll find the greatest feeling as a human being. Don’t care about idealistic, ideology, democracy, socialism, capitalism, liberalism, because it’s them not you.